Saturday, August 4, 2012

Baby Fever... Fail

Baby Fever? Yeah. I don't have that, anymore.

This afternoon, we went to a birthday party for one of E's little buddies. It was fun, I think we all had a good time, and I am so glad E is finally getting out to play with little people her own age! She's not so good at it, yet (she and the birthday girl sat next to each other and chattered away for about 2 minutes, and that seems to be the extent of their interactions... Oh, wait, no, E also tried to sit on her friend a couple times. Weirdo).

Anyway, there was a baby-baby there. She is 4 1/2 months old, and super tiny and petite and cute. And she totally did not make me want to have another baby. Maybe it was the spit up or the fact that she couldn't do anything, or say completely ridiculous things... But the baby fever I thought would come sweeping over me... never came.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I kind of want to want to have another one. We planned that there would be one, we even discussed when. I have kept all of the baby clothes and burp clothes and gear just in case. I am afraid that I will regret not having one when we planned, or that we will get a few years down the road and decide I must have another baby and then we'll have them all spaced out weird (can you tell I am an overly-neurotic planner, yet?). And on the other hand... I'm just not feeling it.

I'm not ruling anything out. I did this before spawning E, too, and it came back... eventually. We (and by we, I mean I) decided we were having fall birthdays, anyway, so I have a few months...

In the meantime, though, I am trying not to let 10-year-old girls with heartbreaking stories steal my heart...

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