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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Thinking Hurts

I've been away from my regularly scheduled program, which is why I haven't posted anything in... Forever. I am sure I am due a few things about which someone might actually care, but instead you are stuck with this, because, well... This is what I want to write about.

A few weeks ago, one of my friends from back home (we were in school together all through K12 and were pretty close in middle school) left me a comment and recommended that I read something on one of her other friends' blog. I cannot for the life of me remember what it is I wrote that spurred out that particular transaction, and really, in the grand scheme of things, it probably isn't important.

Anyway, my friend sent me to My Camo Kids, which is written by a fellow Army officer wife, Lora. I get the impression she is from my hometown, and if I had to fake a guess, I would say she was probably my friend's older sister's friend in real life, but I have no idea, and I am shy enough that I will probably never ask (why am I saying all of this? I swear, I have the worst time getting to the point). I'm really good at imagining things in my head, sometimes, and this very well might be one of those times, but I'm just going to go with it. Anyway, I read whatever it is my friend wanted me to read, had a quick ponder over it, and then headed to the "about" section of her blog, simply because I am overly curious. There I learned that we not only shared an Army bond (Hooah...ish?), but that she and her husband grew their family through an international adoption.

Okay, I can almost see your eyebrows lifting in question (in that wtf-is-this-nutshell-talking-about), but if you bare with me for a few minutes, I'll elaborate as best I can. Several years ago--I was still a student at Georgia Tech, so it was at least 4 years ago, but more likely to be like...6-7 years ago--I somehow became interested in International Adoption in general, but adoptiong from Ukraine in particular. I did some research, had rambling conversations with my husband,  and eventually decided that was something I wanted to pursue in the future. I was going to set it on the back burner, because, well, I was A) too young at the time and B) was not wanting children any time soon, anyway.

Over the years, the image I had painted of the process slowly began to be eaten away. Several of the courses I took in both my undergraduate and graduate degree programs began to make me waiver in my desire to adopt from Ukraine (not to mention that the country closed down adoptions there for a period of time sometime in there somewhere...). It all because a little complicated and confusing for me, and I ended up moving the idea from the back burner to the freezer.

Fast forward a few years; I got bit by the baby bug, I got pregnant, E was born, and adoption was the last thing on my mind. And then, one day, I was driving on post and there was an MWR (Morale, Welfare, and Recreation) sign that was begging for JBLM families to foster. It got me thinking about adoption, again, but this time from the domestic side. My academic conscience couldn't find a while lot wrong with adopting domestically (though the legality that comes with foster-adopting is scary stuff). A few days later, in the Army Officers' Wives Facebook group, someone brought up adoption and it became a rather popular discussion. A lot of women on there discussed their reasons for going the international route for their adoptions: it's tough to do a domestic adoption in the US. It's nearly impossible for military families who constantly move (this is just the opinion of a handful of people, but it made enough sense to me). They expressed their preference for international adoption, simply because it is easier, and my academic self  was tackled by my common sense self; I was reminded of what I had probably known all along: having a family might just be the most important thing to a child without one, regardless of where that child is born.


So, the thought reentered my mind, and it once again became a possibility for the future. And then I found Lora's blog. Today, I went and read through some of her posts that were tagged "adoption," and I got a better feel for what her early-on experiences were (I haven't made my way through all of the posts)... And for someone who really has a hard time believing in things like signs and "meant-to-be's," it sure felt like a kick in the pants.

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