Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Day in Which Everything Went Wrong

Yesterday... not so much with the good.

It started out with me having to drive 20 miles to drop E off with a friend while I went to have my right boob sonogrammed. That's right. My boob is trying to kill me. A couple months ago, a week or two before we went to my parents', it started feeling like milk was letting down... but I quit nursing almost 10 months ago. So, I did what any normal human being would, and went to the doctor. He felt around, said he didn't feel anything, but I should see someone in the women's clinic just in case. The doctor in the women's clinic did the same and said, "I don't see anything, but you should get it sonogrammed just in case." So, I haven't worried about it. Then, about halfway through the sonogram, I got the train stopping question: "is there a history of breast cancer in your family?"

Which was followed by "we can't really see a whole lot, other than your milk ducts are dilated, so we want you to get a breast MRI. Because that's the best way to see cancer,"

I calmly got dressed, walked out to my car, and then cried hysterically for about 30 minutes... I then may or may not have crashed my husband's work... thing... so I could cry all over him.

I'm really trying not to worry. The discomfort seems to only show up during "that time of month" (obviously, that has never been a problem before), and it comes and goes on both sides. Doesn't sound like cancer to anyone else, right? (right?!)

I then got home and found a rejection letter from the agent I felt was probably the best fit for me.

Thanks for rubbing the salt in that wound, agent who will remain unnamed.

Oh, but it gets better. (Albeit anti-climactic.... sorry).

I then put E down for her nap, S gets home, and I go to do something on my laptop (probably write about the above) and it goes dark.... And then, when rebooting was attempted, the blue screen of death. Lots and lots of blue screen of death.

I am not impressed.

I am also writing now from a new [cheap] laptop from Costco. As much as I like new stuff, getting a new computer is nothing but a pain in the ass. If it were up to me, they would all be awesome for 10 or more years, because having to move and reload all your shit is just... head/desk.

Ok. I am done whining.


  1. I'm no doctor. But I don't think hormones/periods affect cancer lumps. I don't know though, but I'm just guessing/trying to make you feel better. No one with breast cancer I know has ever been like "Well the discomfort got worse with my period", right? Add a bunch of other irrational/not helpful things people say in these situations and you've got my comment summed up.

    What I do know though: Do not Google it. Dr. Google is certain you have cancer and will die very soon. There, I Googled it for you and summed up so now you don't have to Google it.

    Sending positive thoughts/prayers your way.

    1. Too late. I googled away. Good news is, I can't find anything that related my symptoms to cancer... So, go me? I also don't have any lups or bumps, which I'm guessing is also a good sign.

      Thanks for the positive thoughts!