Elevenses and High Tea

Last night, shortly before launching the snowflake puzzle pieces, I went to a talk hosted by Kennesaw State University's Fitness for Living program. Dr. Dan Bernadot of Georgia State University (and a whole host of other organizations, to include several US Olympic teams) was the guest speaker and discussed daily energy balance and its role in obesity and weight management (and building lean muscle mass).

It was very informative, and I definitely encourage you to look him and his research up. He was the first person to explain that "eat six small meals a day" idea people are always throwing out with some real scientific evidence... And since I'm usually all about the science, I have been converted. Essentially, what I took away from his talk is that, throughout the day, your body should never have more than 400 calories of excess energy and should never dip below -400 calories. Too much: it's stored as fat. Too little: your body stores what you have given it as fat. Tough balance to keep... Well, good news is: there's an app for that. (No, really. There is.)

I am definitely one of those individuals who falls into that 2-3 meals a day category. I try not to snack because I don't want to end up eating too much, and I do like my biggest meal of the day to be at dinner. Dr. Bernadot argues that the body will automatically regulate itself to only eat the same calories it needs to function. Sounds like a plan.

The hard part is going to be eating smaller meals and adding in some snacks. I have decided the best way to do this is:

Elevenses and High Tea.

That's right. Who doesn't need an excuse to eat a scone and some tea in the morning? And then some cucumber sandwiches and a teacake in the afternoon?

Um... No one. That's who.

So, once I make it home it's tome for some changes. What I have been doing was working for awhile(despite the hypothyroidism/Hashimoto's), but now that it isn't, let's try something new!

(Ok... Fine. I'll probably have some fruit and some homemade bread, not a bunch of cakes and cookies... but one can dream, right?)

Also... don't forget about snowflakes and puzzle pieces!

Olympic Thoughts

In the event that anyone cares what has been running through my head this Olympics, I have a treat for you:

• Every time I see a pool, I smell chlorine.
• How did I ever swim competitively??? It just so isn't me!
• Russian [female] gymnasts have much more attractive bodies than American gymnasts. They are prettier to watch, too.
• I wonder if they serve popcorn at the Olympics?
• I am pretty sure they use Morgan Freeman to narrate commercials because they all. make. me. cry!
• Women's basketball fashion could really learn something from women's volleyball fashion.
• My husband is going to have to start swimming competitively... I always forget how attractive that "look" is. A speedo and a uniform? Um... yes.
• I'm going to be watching a lot of NBC this fall/winter/spring.
• I feel really old.
• I really wish I had learned how to fence. And arch (arch? Is that what you call competing in archery? Clearly I need to learn the terminology because I take up this sport). And I wish I had gotten into rowing... They had a club at Georgia Tech, and did I get involved? No. I suck.
• Nathan Adrian is not only from this part of Washington, but his mom threatened him with the same things mine did if I quit swimming. It must be a common mom thing.
• What is with the weird see-through piece on the women's bathing suits in swimming?
• My husband should have been British and joined their Army... Because then, after 20 years, he could apply to be a Beefeater! (mmm... Beefeater).
• I'm pudgy. Well, I knew that already, but damn the Olympics for reminding me of this fact (in related news, I have been prescribed an increase in thyroid meds... Go thyroid meds, go!).
• I always cheer for the home team if "our guys" aren't competing (or if they are, I want the home team to get second, hehe).
• I'm retiring to the UK. Or at least getting a vacation home there. End of story.

This Person Is a Slacker --->

Obviously, I have been slacking with the writing of the blog. I would use the excuse that it's been a crazy week, but really, it hasn't. E and I flew back to Washington late Monday night, and have really just been hanging around and running errands the last couple days. We've already been to Costco, the PX (post exchange), Costco, and the Commissary twice. We're like Super Shoppers.

When I have had a chance to sit down at my computer, I have used the opportunity to re-write and edit one of my older novels. I actually wrote it about four years ago, finished it, workshopped it some with one of my novel writing courses, and then walked away. It was probably a much needed break, as I was sick of it and really didn't like it, anymore. I liked a great deal of the story, but it needs a lot of work, and I wasn't really up to it until now. I really should be working on other things right now, but I felt the urge to work on it, so what better time than now?

Also, I finally bought myself Scrivener. It's writers' software that I absolutely adore. I highly recommend it for anyone and for any project. You can see the software and activate a free trial here. It makes the writing experience fun.

And tomorrow, I have an appointment with the head of endocrinology here and a clinical psychologist. Because, apparently, wanting adequate and consistant treatment must mean I am crazy. I am going, anyway, because I think there has been a huge breakdown in communication between the doctors and me, the patient. I am hoping that I will be able to convey that my current prescription has helped, I just think there is room for some adjustment. So... wish me luck?

Have You Seen My Hair?

When I was 17, I had enough hair to rival Hermione Granger. I was "admiring" my first college ID the other day, and aside from the fact that I looked really young, the only real difference between then and now is the incredible amounts of hair I had before hypothyroidism struck. When I first started complaining about my hypothyroid symptoms 7 years ago, my hair falling out in hunks was one of the most disconcerting; I was finding more hair collecting in my sink after one morning than I previously cleanws out of my brush in a month. Even medicated, it's still pretty bad, though the rate of loss has slowed. I miss having really thick and lush hair.

But, to make matters worse, earlier today, my mom pointed out that I have a large cropping of white hairs. I noted the first a few years ago, and named him Fred. Then, his twin, George, showed up, followed quickly by Bill. Percy, Ron, Ginny, Arthur, and Molly are now accounted for. It's rather irritating, actually. I'm 26! I am not ready to have the hair of a pre-menopausal woman!

I figure I have 3 choices:

1. Leave it the way it is; let nature take its course and look 50 by my 30th birthday.
2. Pull those suckers out and further decrease my current follicle count.
3. Dye it. I've always been told I have the complexion of a redhead... Let's test that theory out.

I'm taking votes, though the likelihood I will do anything more than pout is unlikely.

And Another One Bites the Dust

This is going to be one of those uncharacteristically whiny posts. My feelings will not be hurt if you bail now.





Still here? Okay. Well, last week, I went and met with the new endocrinologist. I can't really say I am any more impressed with this one than I was with the last one. Which goes to say: Not impressed at all.

I went in, prepared with all of my lab work from the last year and a half. The doctor looked it over, asked me about my symptoms (fatigue, extremely cold extremities, hair loss, heart palpitations, etc. Apparently, I have been tired for the past 7 years because I currently have a toddler... that made me want to kick him in the groin, by the way) and came up with this: do lab work, look at the results, have me switch medications (again), up the dosage, and try to get my TSH to just around 1.

Sounded like a plan, minus the change of medication. I told him I really feel better on my current thyroid medication (Armour dessicated thyroid) and would prefer to stay on it.

Apparently I was wrong on all counts.

So, after calling the office every day for a week, I finally got someone to tell me what was up (they were supposed to call me the morning after the appointment. Ha). The nurse called and said "your lab results show that everything is in the normal range and the doctor said you could just continue on your current medication."

I told her I was confused--I am currently taking 1 grain of Armour and my TSH is right over 2... How was it supposed to be pulled down to a 1 if we leave the medication where it currently is??? She asked me to hold on and when she came back, said something like "well, it's a different medication, so it's measured differently." While this is true, my primary care physician has shown my the conversion chart between the two medications, and I know that my current dosage is significantly lower than the 125 mcg of Synthroid he wanted me to switch to. I told her all of this to which she replied "well, you have a good day." Click.

I then climbed into the shower and sobbed while I washed my hair.

I guess I just don't understand. I come in and say "I don't feel well. Here is all of my lab work--the last blood draw was 2 months ago." The doctor says "Huh. You were tested for A, B, C, D, and E. I think I will test you for A, B, C, D, and E, too." And then, when the results for A, B, C, D, and E come back EXACTLY THE SAME, the doctor says "See? Everything is normal. You're fine. Get another blood draw in a year." Just like the last one did. ARGH!

NO, ASSHOLE! I AM NOT FINE! I WOULD NOT HAVE COME IF I FELT OKAY!!!!

Why will no one say "Oh, the last endocrinologist has concluded the problem is not your thyroid anymore based on tests A, B, C, D, and E. These symptoms are also a sign of X, Y, and/or Z. Let's do some tests to rule those out!"...?!?!?!?!

Or at least adjust my medication until I feel better. I know the Armour is doing something... I do feel better than I did, but I still don't feel good. It's like on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being great, 1 being horrible) I have gone from a 2 to a 5.5. I just don't think I am all the way there, yet. I've been able to lose about 25 lbs (though, it's been extremely difficult and it seems to be stuck... I feel so close, yet so far away.... I'll probably be fat forever) since switching exclusively to Armour and I don't feel quite so depressed all the time. Otherwise, everything else is pretty much the same. Or only marginally better. But no one cares. Because if they did, they would have said "okay, you feel better on Armour, it's working, so far, albeit not perfectly. Let's increase your Armour and see if that helps" instead of "you can either take the Synthroid at a higher dose or you can go away."

It really makes me believe someone is getting kickbacks from the makers of Synthroid.

Not cool.

All right, I am going to go breaks things, now. And it really has me losing faith in the medical profession. Or at least the medical professionals in the greater JBLM area.

Guess this just adds to my growing list of reasons why I HATE Washington.

Buy a Prius, Drive Like a Granny

When S commissioned in 2010, I was driving the 2005 Corolla S my parents bought me in college (I lived on campus my first year, and was not a fan. I think I came home every weekend but one my first semester, and after Spring Break of my second, I essentially moved home entirely. My parents told me that if they didn't have to pay for room and board, they would get me a car, pay for my gas and the insurance for my remaining 3 years--S and I picked up the tab after I graduated and landed my position at the university) and he was driving my dad's 1989 Ford Ranger pick-up... It was sexy. Before he deployed to Iraq, we made the brilliantly uneducated--and stupid--decision to buy a 1967 Ford Falcon... It was great the first 10 minutes he owned it, but was just a pain in the rear end the remaining 5 years. We ended up donating it--I think?--and cutting our losses. We shared the Corolla for awhile, but my parents were gracious enough to offer up the truck for us to use until we got something new.

Enter the Prius.

We did some homework and decided the hybrid was the way we wanted to go. We keep our cars long enough that getting a hybrid was a money-saver, and S was excited about "voting with his money." So, after his commissioning, we scrounged up a hefty down payment, went to the dealership, got suckered into opting for way more gadgets than we had originally planned for, and left with a car.

Because it's our "family" car, I drive it the most. When we had E in the infant car seat, I drove the Corolla a lot because we could easily move the seat from one base to the other. Unfortunately, spending $300 on a second convertible car seat just didn't fit into the budget, so now I drive the Prius almost exclusively, and when we go somewhere as a family, that's the car we take.

Anyway, back to my point.

While those of you in the rest of the country are experiencing gas price lows, those of us on the Pacific coast are having extreme highs. We buy our gas at Costco and it was $4.15/gallon yesterday.... And that's at least $.10 cheaper than everywhere else, including on-post. Because of this, I have been much more mindful of the mpg gauge on the Prius, and thus, my driving style has drastically changed.

Before I started watching the gauge, I was getting about 44 mpg on average. Right now, it's sitting at 54 mpg, all because I started driving differently.... Yes, I now drive like a granny. The 35 mph zone is my new best friend--I've been avoiding the interstate and taking back roads because I get such better gas milage. I can get up to speed without breaking the "eco" line, and coast in a range that gets me anywhere from 75-100 mpg. This probably makes me unpopular with other drivers, because I tend to go the speed limit, if not under it... Not that I didn't become infinitely slower when I started carting around a kiddo.

This may actually be the first car I have driven that encourages me to drive at a pace that can only be described as the opposite of reckless (lol). The Corolla is like driving a go cart, so it's easy to get out of hand (my one and only speeding ticket can attest to that). My goal is to make it to a tank that averages 65 mpg... Cause how awesome would that be?

[End incredibly boring post]

In other news:

• I think E has hit the Terrible Twos. If she isn't blatantly disobeying me, she is throwing a temper tantrum (or so it seems). She's really not that bad, but it's such a drastic change in such a short amount of time (like... a week???) that it's notable.
• Her new favorite thing to do while riding in the car is lick the bottom of her feet... Um. Eww?
• She has probably eaten her weight in berries the last couple weeks--I'm not complaining. I would much prefer her be on a fruit kick than a processed food kick.
• I have lost a few pounds since my omg-my-body-hates-me post a few weeks back. Bad news? Now I can't get any more to fall off. Argh!
• I met with a new endocrinologist--the jury is still out.
• I made cookie cake and it was a rousing success.
• I still hate Washington.

And, while you're barbecuing this weekend--please remember to remember those who served and sacrificed it all.

Discouraged

I've been trying to keep the negative I-hate-my-body, hypothyroidism-sucks posts to a minimum, but I've been feeling really discouraged the last month or so, and just need a moment to vent.

Since January 1, I have lost about 20 pounds. I am back down to my pre-hypothyroid post-baby weight (i.e. still not back to my pre-baby weight, but better than it had been). I still have a good 30 pounds to lose to feel... good about myself, but I would be happy if I could get rid of another 15-20 lbs. That would put me where I was before I got pregnant (I gained a little bit when I switched MA programs. I blame stress).

If you know anything about me, you know that last year was really hard on me. I was exercising non-stop, I was eating a completely vegan diet, and I was gaining weight. At the peak of my crazy exercise routine, I was walking/jogging 15-20 miles a day. And on the days where I couldn't go out and do that, I was on the exercise bike for 3 hours a day. Nothing I did worked and this February, I threw in the towel. I quit working out and sat on my butt all day--why kill myself if it wasn't working? Well, I promptly lost fifteen pounds.

I went home in March to visit my family, came home for a couple weeks and lost a few more pounds, and then went back. While I was home, I gained a pound or two, but figured that when I got home, the weight would continue to come back off slowly as it had.

Well, it hasn't. I've gone back to making a lot of vegetarian meals to help combat things, and I did get back to the 20-pounds-lost goal, but I can't get back over the hump. I'm stuck. And then, to just makes matters worse, I got on the scale yesterday and I had gained 3 lbs.

Most people would probably consider this "no big deal," but I am really starting to feel like it's crunch time. We are in agreement that we would like to try for Baby #2 at the beginning of the year... And I DO NOT ever want to go through this torture again. I refuse to gain as much as I did last time (50 lbs) and I certainly don't want to start out bigger than I did last time.

The news (I am loathe to call it "good") is that I go see a new endocrinologist in 2 weeks. I honestly don't think I am "fixed" yet. I am still having a very hard time waking up in the morning (10 hours of sleep and struggling to wake up isn't normal), I am always exhausted, and I am always freezing--ask my husband, he has felt my ice-cold feet. And my weight... Ugh, my weight. I am so hoping he can make me better. I am so tired of being broken :(.

This is Where I Prove I Am a Liar

I know I said I was going to try to keep this upbeat, but you'll have to forgive me for a slip every once in awhile. I'm having a little freak-out session and have the urge to try to calm down via writing.

The last few months, I have been experiencing this lump-in-throat sensation. It comes and goes, but lately it seems to be around more often than before. I've mentioned it to my primary care doctor, as well as the endocrinologist in the past, but only this week has either decided to investigate (to be fair, the PCM referred me to the endocrinologist at first. When I showed up in his office still complaining about the lump feeling and the endocrinologist, he gave me s referral to an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist and a new endocrinologist). This afternoon, the ENT office called to schedule an appointment for me, which prompted me to go on a massive Google search...

... Which has me terrified that I have esophageal cancer. Which is essentially a death sentence.

Fortunately, I don't have any of the symptoms (except for weight loss, but I have been desperately trying to lose weight... But, then, why all of a sudden would it start working when it didn't before? See why this is tricky?). Unfortunately, early stages don't really show any symptoms. So, I could have cancer.

And, as you would guess, resulted in lots of crying, text messages to my husband asking him when he could come home, and forcing the toddler to sit on my lap while I thought about the possibility of missing her grow up.

I need a bottle of wine.