Money Makes the World Go 'Round

I'm pretty sure that was the title of my "textbook" for economics in college... It either made a huge impression since I remember the name of the book 9 years later, or a bad impression (I am pretty sure I nodded off in that class on more than one occasion... per class meeting) since I remember the name of the book 9 years later... You choose.

I just updated our little "adoption fund" meter over there on the left. Almost $133. On the one hand, that's a lot of money. In fact, that is, give or take some, how much I spend on my major grocery shop on pay day (this includes all dog food, cat food, S's Coke Zero addiction, and staples like pasta, cheese, and a mountain of produce). I can do a lot with $133--fill up my car at the gas pump 4.5 times, buy E an entire wardrobe for a year, do all of my Macy's Black Friday shopping (Macy's gets a lot of business from me... a LOT). But then, at the same time, $133 is not a whole lot. $133 isn't even half my car payment. It's an amount easily blown at Costco. I can't even buy a plane ticket home with $133... It's especially depressingly low when stacked up to the $25,000 goal (try: only a little over half-a-percent!).

It's funny how that works, isn't it?

Either way, we have quite a ways to go, don't we?

This leaves me feeling a little guilty. I follow a few international-adoption-focused blogs, and though I know their aim is not to necessarily make me feel guilty (maybe it is... but I am going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say it isn't), I do sometimes end up in that place, anyway. It is never the "are you X's mommy/family?" that gets me--and believe me, there is a lot of that, especially with some of the sites that are dedicated to advocating for orphans. Maybe it's something to do with my cold heart, but that one just doesn't get me. But the children do (cue really dramatic, sad music here):

• Jack's story. This one gets me every time.  
• Tania, Jack's mother, has also stepped up to advocate, as well. Her most recent blog also pulls at the heartstrings.
• Kasey's story. I think it speaks for itself.
• Lora of My Camo Kids mentions the other children in her daughter's groupa many times, and it sort of just rips at your heart. 

There are more, I am sure, but these stand out the most to me. I hate that they are so desperate for a family and that so many orphans will probably never have one.  I hate that I fall a little in love with so many of them because of this desperation, and I can't do anything for them but tell other people they exist. I can't help but feel worried that the child we are meant to adopt is already out there, languishing and wishing desperately for a family, and all we have managed to do about it is save $133, $8 of it in pennies.

So, yeah, I feel a little guilty.

And a little pissed off that money makes the world go 'round.