Reason No. 435 I need to Move

There is this volcano approximately an hour away from my house. It's pretty famous. Perhaps you've heard of it before?

Mt Rainier



I'm not going to lie. This bad boy scares the crap out of me.

Friends and acquaintances are always telling me that we must go hike it. Or see it. Or be near to it. Touch it, feel it, be one with the mountain. Um... No. It's a volcano, not a yurt. I am not going near that thing with a 20 mile pole. In fact, one of my friends invited me out to the river in Orting, and we went... I was terrified the entire time I was there. And yesterday, when thunderstorms began sweeping the area (they are very rare here... something to do with the mountains?), I was sure the thing was exploding.

Now that I come off as a complete nutjob, here just a few fun-filled facts about the active volcano that is lurking in the not-so-distant distance.

• I can see the VOLCANO Rainier from my house. Or, at least the street. I kind of sort of have to go outside and walk up the hill to see it over the trees, but it's there. Being a giant asshole.
• It's considered one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world. Great.
• It's on the Decades Volcano list. Meaning: YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR IT. (Also, who doesn't love a wikipedia source?)
• The thing is covered in glaciers, which means when it does erupt, all that ice is going to melt, rush down the volcano, and take out everything around it. And that's just the ice. Forget the fiery, molten stuff.
• An average of 30 earthquakes take place at the peak every year (source)... That thing isn't joking around.

When I respectfully decline going near that giant death trap, someone always tells me "it hasn't erupted in over a century. It's fine."

My response: It's due.